Goodbye
by CrashAgainstMySkin
Summary: How does Ellie feel about leaving Craig at the airport for the first time. ONESHOT! Please read and review


**This is a fan fiction based on the song Goodbye by Miley Cyrus. This story may get confusing so I apologize for that. The lyrics are written in with the story. So please read and review.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR THE SONG GOODBYE BY MILEY CYRUS.**

_"I meant what I said, and I've felt that way for long-"_

_"No, don't, just its besides the point, you need help"_

_"I know, I know, I'm going into rehab or whatever but when I get out maybe we could-"_

_"Goodbye Craig"_

_-End-_

Its been a week since I left Craig at the airport. The words still ringing in my head:

"I meant what I said."

I broke up with Jesse the next day. I realized I didn't want to kiss anyone else but Craig. I thought I was over Craig but I guess I was wrong. I love Craig and I don't want anyone else but him in my life. It felt right when he kissed me. I had chills up and down my spine and I thought I was going to fall to the floor if he let me go. Time felt like it stopped and it was just the two of us left.

_I can honestly say_

_You've been on my mind_

_Since I woke up today, up today_

What am I saying I can't be in love with Craig. It was just a silly little crush and even if I did love him he didn't feel the same way, then the words shot through my head again. I have to get my mind off Craig. This isn't like me. I am Ellie Nash, I don't get all gaga over some guy. I mean I wasn't like this when Marco told me he was gay, when Sean left yeah I was sad and hurt because I did care about him but I got over it a week later, and with Jesse I don't really even care. It was never this hard before so why is it now. I have to get my mind off Craig.

I head to the my room and pull out a box that I kept all the way in the back of my closet. It was a box of old mementos from my years at Degrassi. There was a picture of me and Marco at graduation. A picture of me, Alex, Paige, Jimmy, and Marco at the Dot. I picked up my old Hell Hath No Fury shirt chuckling as I remembered how awesome we were and the look on Craig's face when we preformed for the first time. He was always so cute-

I Stopped my sentence as quickly as I could and put the shirt down remembering why I was looking through this stuff anyway. I started to look through some old photos from my last day at Degrassi, when I saw a slightly bent square photo in the back of the box. It was an old photo of me and Craig that we took during the summer before senior year. I sat and looked at the picture for awhile smiling as I saw Craig hovering over me and tickling me and me trying to escape with my red hair covering the sides of my face, my mouth is open wide laughing, yelling at Craig to stop. I remember that day perfectly.

_Summer before senior year_

_After group therapy, Craig grabbed my hand and told me he had a surprise for me. He dragged me to Joey's car and made me put on a blind fold he had brought, telling me he had this planned for weeks. I put it on reluctantly as he started the car and drove away._

"_This is so tacky Craig, let me see."_

"_No Nash, this is a surprise," Craig said holding the blind fold over my eyes still managing to drive perfectly fine. I always felt so safe with Craig, like he would never put me in danger._

"_Get off me," I say jokingly pushing his hand away from my face._

"_No, you peek and if you push my hand away again I'll tickle you," he said returning his hand over the blind fold to make sure I don't peek_

_Craig knew I hated to be tickled, which is why he constantly does it. He says he only does it because he likes to hear me laugh and see me smile. He has told me several times that he loves my laugh. Secretly I liked being tickled by Craig. It gives me chills whenever he touches me._

_While I was in my thoughts about Craig, he was parking the car, I suddenly felt him take his hand off the blind fold and help me out of the car, when I got out I heard little kids screaming and it was very noisy._

"_Craig where are we, its sounds like a fair"_

"_Correct Nash well sort of, it's a carnival," Craig said taking off my blind fold._

"_Why would you take me here," I say laughing_

"_Because we need to be 12 again"_

"_Ok," I say mocking his voice_

_Ordinarily I would be so annoyed and hating this but not tonight. Craig and I were having so much fun. We rode the zipper, the top spin, and a kiddie version of a rollercoaster. It was even funnier watching Craig and his lanky tall body try to get in this cart made for 5 year olds._

"_Craig I am having a blast, thanks for taking me here," I say stuffing cotton candy in my mouth._

"_No worries El, you know I would do anything to see that smile of yours," he said with his beautiful hazel eyes and grabbing some of my cotton candy._

"_You know what we need El, a photo to remember this special day"_

"_How, neither of us brought a camera"_

"_Oh on the contrary, there's a photo booth right over there," he said pointing across the now ride infested lot._

"_Lets do it," I said grabbing his arm and running to the booth_

_-End-_

_I look at your photograph all the time_

_These memories come back to life_

_And I don't mind_

**I put the picture down and put the box away, obliviously it isn't working. I move to the living room and think about the night, the night where I walked in and saw Craig sitting in front of the mirror strumming his guitar, telling me something came up and he wasn't able to go to group. I remember him telling me to leave him alone and him looking at me with his eyes staring right into mine. I remember the kiss, oh that kiss, the kiss I have been waiting for. His lips were so soft and warm, the kiss that made my whole body tingle.**

_I remember when we kissed_

_I still feel it on my lips_

What am I doing, I can' think about that, I can' think about him. He is gone and out of my life forever, that's its though, he's not. He will always be in my life. There is no way I could ever forget Craig Manning. I suddenly realized it was silent. I was home alone, Marco was out with Dylan for a hot date and wouldn't be back till later. I was home all by myself and I couldn't help but want to dance.

I know, I know I hate to dance and I have always hated to dance but I remember during summer break when Marco and Ash left for the summer, and me and Craig started to become buds there was this one time:

_Summer before senior year_

_It was really late, around ten or eleven. I didn't want to go home yet so Craig and I sat in front of the Dot. The Dot had been closed for hours and me and Craig were sitting on the sidewalk exchanging crude remarks towards each other when suddenly Craig got up._

_"Come on El, lets dance," He said enthusiastically pulling me off the ground_

_"What"_

_"You heard me," Craig said pulling me into his chest starting to lead_

_For a minute I lost myself, his chest felt so nice up against mine when I realized he was my best friends boyfriend and I hate to dance._

_"I hate to dance and besides there's no music"_

_"Come on, you don't need music to dance so just shut up and follow my lead"_

_I didn't argue and I followed his lead. I loved every minute of it and smiled the whole way through._

_"Hey, your eyes sparkle in the light , I never noticed before"_

_"Thanks Romeo," I said sarcastically but blushing none the less putting my head on his shoulder as we continued to slow dance to no music_

_I took in every moment of the small dance we shared and held on to Craig just like he held on to me._

_"See it isn't that bad, is it gem," Craig said as he stared in my eyes still holding me _

_"No not at all," I reply with a smile on my face putting my head back on his shoulder_

_-End-_

_The time you danced with me_

_With no music playing_

I get up and head towards the kitchen, where's there's a fridge. When in doubt pig out. I grab a grape pop and a bag of chips and stand by the counter. I start to think, most of my favorite memories have to do with Craig. I pick up a chip and went back to my thoughts. I remember the hand signals, the birthday party before he said screw you to my face, all the times in his garage when it was just me and him, the private drum lessons, all those little things. I felt a tear stream down my face, I would give up everything if I could just go back in time and be with him doing those silly little things again and not saying goodbye to him at the airport. Saying yes to his offer and not pulling his hand off my cheek.

_I remember the simple things_

_I remember 'till I cry_

_But the one thing I wish I'd forget_

_A memory I want to forget_

_Is goodbye_

Come on El, get it together. I wipe the tear away from my face and head upstairs to lie down, I really need to take a nap right now and I don't care which bed it is since there's several in this three bedroom apartment. I go to the first room on the left, which happens to be the room Craig stayed in seven days ago. I stood in the doorway staring at the empty bed. I slowly made my way to the bed in the corner. I laid down face first in the pillow. The sheets still smell like Craig on account me, Marco, and Dylan were to lazy to change them. I move on my back and shut my eyes and fall asleep.

I wake up and look over at the clock on the other side of the room. It was eight in the morning, I walk downstairs and look to see if anyone was home. There was a note on the fridge from Marco, apparently he and Dylan woke up early and went to a diner for breakfast. I sit down and realize again that I am alone. I really didn't want to be alone again, I wanted to talk to someone, but the person I really wanted to talk to was at a rehab center in Calgary for his coke problem. Craig was always the person I wanted to talk to when I was down like this, well him and Marco but both are absent right now. I turn on the radio thinking silence was the problem.

Jesse McCartney's "Beautiful Soul" came on, normally I would change it and put on some rock music but I sat and listened to it. It was just starting and the minute he started singing so did I. I am so embarrassed to know the lyrics let alone sing along. The next thing I know I am belting out the words and crying as well. I hadn't heard this song in forever and this was our song, me and Craig's

_After school at the Dot_

_"So what'd ya think of Ms. Kwan's English lesson today," Craig said coming back to the table we had right next to the window with two coffees in his hand._

_"I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention"_

_"Neither was I, I was hoping you would tell me"_

_We sat and talked about meaningless things right after that. Craig was looking at me differently this time though. He was staring right into my eyes and had a slight smile across his face. _

_"This is our song from now on," Craig stated suddenly_

_"What"_

_"Yeah this song, we need a song, like a cool song to jam to and have inside jokes with._

_"Craig you can't really jam out to this song its 'Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney' not really a rock out kind of song"_

_"Well whatever, we still need a song, come on I never had a song with anyone, not Manny or Ash and I have always wanted one"_

_"That's a little girly, don't ya think"_

_"Shut up, so come on lets make this our song"_

_"Fine, this will be our song"_

_"Great, whenever we hear this song we can think of each other"_

_-End-_

_I woke up this morning_

_And played our song_

_And through my tears I sang along_

Ahhh! Why is this so hard, I tell myself as the song ends and I am finally able to breathe. Next thing I know I am holding my phone, going through my contacts staring at Craig's number. I put my cell down immediately, what the hell I'm I doing. I can't call Craig. No matter how bad I want to hear his soft, soothing voice, I can't. I tell myself this ten thousand times before I actually hide my phone so I stop picking it up.

_I pick up the phone and than_

_Put it down_

'_cause I know I'm wasting my time_

_And I don't mind_

I sit down on the couch falling over into the cushion. God why is this so hard! Why can't I call him, why can't I love him, Why is it impossible for Craig to feel the same way I feel. Why I'm I making it so complicated, it really doesn't have to be. Suddenly I hear a faint noise. I get up like dog who just woke up and is now in alert mode. Marco's probably calling to see where I am. As I get closer to where I put my phone I notice something. The ringtone playing isn't Marco's, its, its Craig's!

_Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up_

_With your ringtone_

I grabbed my phone and looked at the ID. It clearly says Craig's name on my screen. I don't know why but I can't answer it. Why is he calling, what could he possibly have to say to me. Why I'm I questioning myself and not picking it up.

I flip open my phone and hit the answer key. I hear Craig's voice on the other end, its quiet like he's by himself

_I hesitate but answer it anyway_

_You sound so alone_

"Ellie, you there"

"Yeah, I'm here"

"Ellie, I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but please don't hang up, I really want to talk to you"

"Craig, where are you, are you at the rehab center," I ask in a concerned tone hoping he's not high right now.

"Yeah, Joey's right here we haven't gone in yet, I just really need to talk you before I go in.

"Ok, talk"

"Ellie, right after you left I realized that I broke your heart"

"Really," I say sarcastically cutting him off

"Let me finish, Your not the only one got your heart broken that day. I realized that I hurt and let the most important person in my life go. I am so sorry for using you like that, I never wanted to admit my feelings for you under coke or for that reason alone. All through the flight I thought about all the things perfect about you and the kiss we shared. I could still feel the warmth of your lips against mine and the time we danced with each other at like 11 o'clock at night because you didn't want to go home yet"

_And I'm surprised to hear you say_

_You remember when we kissed_

_You still feel it on your lips_

"Craig, I don't know what to say"

"Nothing, just that I want you to know that if I could go back, I would change everything. I just want to go back to the days were we would sit in my garage and talk"

I can hear him start to cry and I start to tear up knowing that he is basically spilling his guts to me.

_You remember those simple things_

_We talked 'till we cried_

"Ellie I just wish that you would forget everything that happened last week and the months before that with Manny. I just wish that you never went through that pain of saying goodbye and all the pain before that, because I really do love you"

"Craig you have no idea how great it feels to hear you say that, because I love you too," I cry into the phone.

I can hear him smile through the phone as he wipes away his tears. At that moment I knew for sure that Craig honestly felt the same way about me that I have I've felt about him for so long.

"I just finished listening to our song"

"You know I only made it our song because I wanted something to remind me of how you looked that day. You were so beautiful that I never wanted to forget how the sun hit your cheek, and the way the hair fell in your face. That was the day I realized that I was falling for you"

We ended the phone call saying I love you and I knew that saying goodbye wasn't so bad after all.

_You said that your biggest regret_

_The one that you wish I'd forget_

_Is saying goodbye_

_Saying goodbye_

Oh, Goodbye


End file.
